By: Tsering Gaphel and Padma Angmo

Dear readers,

If you are reading this, chances are the topic sparked your curiosity, and you are wondering what it is all about. Don’t worry—you are not alone. We would have also chosen to read this article if we were still in college. We were just as lost and confused as you are now when we first joined our colleges. But here is the secret we learned through our own experience with college life: nobody knows what they are doing.

Sure, some students seem to have it all together—juggling societies, internships, and accomplishments with an air of confidence. But behind that polished exterior lies uncertainty, just like yours. Everyone’s mind is full of questions, and their hearts wrestle with self-doubt. And that is okay.

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As we reflected on our journeys, we realized we wanted to share our thoughts, experiences, and lessons on navigating the highs and lows of college life. From friendships to expectations and the weight of responsibilities, here is what we wish someone had told us when we first arrived.

Do we need friends?

 One of us had a deep existential crisis at the Kashmere Gate Metro Station crowd. If you have been there, you know the scene—an overwhelming sea of people rushing toward their destinations, each with a clear purpose. At that moment, the realization hit hard: Delhi was a relentless beast compared to the peaceful rhythm of life in Ladakh. The fast-paced, noisy environment makes us feel homesick, reminding us of how much slower and simpler life was back home.

So you turn to your only support system in Delhi—your friends. And while most of you consider your friends to be people you only hang out with, their influence goes far deeper.

Some friendships can change your life by providing the support, motivation, and encouragement you need to thrive. However, some people may lead you in a direction you would rather avoid. Making a smart choice is crucial, even if you are tempted to believe that any friend is better than being alone. The wrong company can significantly derail your life.

Choose wisely. It is better to be alone than in bad company. Trust yourself to be self-reliant, and you will eventually find your tribe. Until then, remember: your own company is far better than the wrong company.

The weight of being the first: Stress and expectations

For many Ladakhi students, attending college isn’t just a personal achievement—it’s a family aspiration and a societal expectation. The pressure can feel overwhelming, especially if you are the first in your family to pursue higher education. You may question if you are good enough, worry about job prospects, or fear wasting your family’s hard-earned money.

Such thoughts can be difficult to navigate, especially when people around you secure jobs, internships, or good grades. It is easy to feel like you are not good enough when you compare yourself with your friends. But here is the truth: every journey is unique. There is no fixed timeline for success, and your worth is not determined by how quickly you “catch up” to others.

People in Ladakh often consider a government job the hallmark of success. However, that is not true. You can be happy even with a private job if you enjoy the work and find a purpose in the work that you do. Ultimately, you must carve out a path that reflects your aspirations, even if it diverges from family or societal expectations. After all, you are the one who will live with the consequences of your choices. So, find out what sparks your interest and talk to people working in your dream job. Just dreaming about a dream job won’t make it come true. You must put in the effort to realize that dream.

Money, no money

Taking care of your money for the first time is a great responsibility, and many of us fail in the first attempt. Many Ladakhi students have scholarships on top of the monthly allowances from their parents. But they still end up broke. Most do not even keep track of where they spend their money. Such reckless spending shows poor financial management and a huge disrespect toward your parent’s efforts.

Moreover, being a college student is already equivalent to being a half-adult. You can set out to find ways to make money yourself. Ladakhi students are talented in art, creativity, dance, photography, and videography—talents that are in demand. Create a portfolio, start freelancing, and earn your keep. Many hesitate, thinking they can’t succeed. But you will never know unless you try. Interning or freelancing easily beats doom-scrolling on Instagram, any day.

Can you escape the Instagram FOMO?

The Internet provides solutions but is also the cause of many of our concerns. You see someone’s picture-perfect life on Instagram and instantly think yours is not enough, even when you were grateful for your life just yesterday. The Internet has made it very easy to get influenced. It is a double-edged sword: a source of distraction or meaningful information. The choice is yours.

Is a clear goal necessary?

People often think they need to have everything worked out before starting college or life. Honestly, not having a clear plan doesn’t mean you are failing. It just means you are still exploring.

Exploring is very important. You might find that the job you thought you wanted is nothing like what you thought it would be. This is something we know for sure. One of us started working in a job we thought we would enjoy, but we did not enjoy that work. The other is still in the middle of figuring out their next big plan for life. And none of us are sure that our plans will work out. Because things can go wrong in life, and that is just life. Going off track, making mistakes, and not knowing what will happen are all normal parts of the process. Most people are just learning as they go.

Do not let the pressure to “know everything” stop you from trying new things. You can take your time, change your mind, and evolve your goals.

Embrace your Journey: You are right where you should be

Life is not a race, and there isn’t just one “right” way to be successful. And it took us a long time to accept that. You are on the right track, and every event, good or bad, makes you the person you were meant to be.

So make mistakes, learn from your mistakes, party with your friends, travel if you have enough money, volunteer if you have time, and help others if you have the capacity. You will one day realize that every step you took, even the scary ones, helped you learn more about yourself and your mission. Keep going until then. Keep looking around, learning new things, and getting bigger. You can do this.

Writers’ note: This article is the product of countless conversations, reflections, and shared experiences between us. We, Tsering Gaphel and Padma Angmo, poured our hearts into writing this piece, combining our perspectives to create something we hope resonates with you. Thank you for taking the time to read our work. We hope it provides comfort, insight, and inspiration as you navigate your journey.

We would love to hear your thoughts—your feedback means the world to us. After all, this conversation doesn’t end here. It’s just the beginning.